If You Aren't Able To Say Something Nice...
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Say nothing at all! Trust me, it's humanly possible! If at any precise moment you want to say anything other then something nice, simply DON'T. There are many ways around it. Why hurt someone's feelings, what purpose does it serve? It's so much more pleasant to offer constructive critism then to ridicule someone. When a person belittles a person, it's actually that person who looks bad.
Your friend gets a new hairstyle, she's thrilled, you don't care for it....even if she asks your opinion DON'T voice your total opinion, take baby steps around it. If you don't like the style say something nice about the color or ask who the stylist was because you are looking for a new one and then lose the phone number! This is her time to shine, don't ruin her moment.
Your neighbor painted their house a bright yellow and you fear the value of your house just plummeted. They ask if you like the new color...hmmmm...suggest they add some black trim. The next time you order pizza just tell the delivery person your house is located right next door to the giant bumble bee. Don't fret, the color will fade.
You read an article that differs from your opinion. Don't judge the writer or critique them. It's their opinion. Artists are all unique. Their views differ from yours. Can you imagine if we all had the same opinions or perspectives....BORING! Their photos might be a bit offensive, but it's still their creation and should be respected. Instead of critiquing them how about looking for one positive aspect to the hub and offer them a compliment for that. When this practice is repeated often enough if becomes a habit. Better yet, you can say nothing. Just hop on to the next article.
Some suggestions you could use in everyday life:
Bite your tongue
Walk, skip, gallop, or hop away
Say something positive instead
Offer a compliment regarding something else
Change the subject
Yell "THE SKY IS FALLING" and run for cover!
Belch as a diversion!
If you are in person begin dancing and clapping blame it on a song stuck in your head
Pretend you forgot to purchase new batteries for your hearing aid
If you are on the phone make a crackling sound to mimic a bad connection
If it's on email, facebook or twitter don't respond for awhile and pretend your computer crashed
Disclaimer: Sunshine sometimes practices what she preaches, but most of the time she doesn't need to. She's unlikely to actually cause a diversion or not say anything. Sunshine likes to talk and offer opinions. My daughters taught me that if I have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. The majority of the time I'm not quiet because that's not how I roll. Peace, love and happiness is so much nicer then bickering and hurtful feelings. Go forth and start a new habit. Chances are you probably already are and that makes Sunshine smile :)
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This hub is about a random morning for Sunshine as she pondered what hub to create for the day... - 8 months ago
- Laughter Is Contagious....
Laughter reduces stress, burns calories, helps ease pain and anxiety. Laugh until you can't laugh anymore, then laugh again. - 13 months ago
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very cute and funny, Nice work
How very true SJmorningsun! Great point!
Thank you for stopping by!
I have been frequently told to hold my tongue. I will try to follow your suggestions.
So true. Excellent advice Sunshine625. This hub is full of wisdom. Voted up and useful.
You yourself must be extremely nice.. I say whats on my mind.. my pops told me to say what I mean.. and yeah it gets me into trouble.. a curcuit judge got a new and hat and asked me if I liked it.. I said it beats the hell out of that horrible toupee.. I know I should have said nothing
I often find myself yelling "The Sky Is Falling" I usually get some pretty strange looks :). Enjoyed your hub.
Awesome points to follow. As always you have made some great points while the using the great art humor to make your points. Wow how many times can I use the word "points". I think I have been playing to much WWF lately...as earning "points" is always in my head these day. Voted up and funny.
@Frank ... Hahaha! A circuit judge would have been a good time to compliment his robe or gavel!!!
@Husky, thank you :)
@Susan, I've tried the Sky is Falling, it didn't work.
@Vinaya ... my tongue was sore from biting many, many times until my daughters got me started on my new habit a few years ago!
@cogerson LOL good point!!!
Help my tongue is bleeding and won't stop! Explanation for lack of my activity on twitter & FB. Ha! Seriously, this is a great reminder for everyone. Sometimes we open our mouths without thinking first. This is why your moniker is Sunshine. Thanks again!!
Good advice but sometimes a word doesn't need to be spoken and people can read fascial and body language too. Good advice though but sometimes so hard to curtail.
Hi Sunshine,
I have to bite my tongue a LOT, especially at work, and frequently chew on my cheek too LOL!!! One major thing I've learned in life is NEVER tell a person that they are wrong, no matter how wrong wrong wrong they are. Just sit quietly, shutup, and accept that you know they are wrong...and that is all that matters.
Loved the hub Sunshine, as always you bring me sunshine every day! Have a SUPERB weekend.
Cloverleaf.
Think before you speak...there are some exceptions Kat, we are human :))
marellen ... yes there are times when body language can be used, I've seen plenty of "birds" flying!! Hahaha!
Oh Cloverleaf, not telling someone when they are wrong is a DIFFICULT one...even Sunshine has problems with that. If they are wrong and you know that for a FACT I think we should correct them in a diligent way. If we don't then they will go forward thinking they are correct when they aren't. They will look foolish. I guess it all depends on the person...maybe they should look foolish! That was a good one!
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." My mother said this to me so many times! I used to be a lot better at it than I am now. It seems like the older I get, the more trouble I have being subtle! However, I did REALLY enjoy your hub!
I too believe in biting my tongue, not rocking the boat, or minding my own business, and most of the time I manage to do just that. There are occasions when the heart and soul hurt so much that you can't help but to lash out. I enjoyed this hub, it brought back memories of my dear old mum who also told me "their bark is worse than their bite" x
Stephanie and bluestar...you both had me think of my mom. She always, ALWAYS told it like it was. Left no stoned unturned. It might be where I picked up my biting the tongue from UNTIL my daughters retrained my brain many years ago. I like it much better on this side of the tracks. Thanks for your comments :)
My mother always quoted Thumper's mother when she told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I do try to follow that rule.....even when it is so hard to do. If I must comment, I do try to find the silver lining. Great hub, voted up, useful, and funny.
Sunshine....this is a real "THINKER." If we would all see most situations as a challenge, we'd get very creative, thus avoid hurting someone with perhaps the "obvious" truth? Know what I mean? Like when an obese person asks the question that makes one cringe: "Do I look FAT in this?" Here's 2 suggestions: "Oh, that color brings out your pretty eyes!" or "Those shoes are perfect for that dress!"...You are a wizard....always give us something important to think about! Thanks.
Hi Sunshine, I love the belch diversion!
Biting your tongue isn't always easy to do, but sometimes it is definitely for the best!
Great advice and great hub, thanks for sharing.
To Make Peace With What Is Not Valued By You May Be Hard,But Consider The Calm You Get From Not Having A Conflict....Live And Let Live.;)
Great advice my dad gave to me.
K. Burns, the silver lining is always nice :)
Paula, I considered "do I look fat" but opted out, thank you for adding it! :)
Movie Master, I never used the belch but I'm sure someone did, somewhere!
Bryan, Oh yes, the calm is so wonderful!!!
Fiddleman, very wise dad :)
Hi Sunshine! My mother once told me, "Don't let your mouth write a check that your behind can't cover." These words of advice have saved me many times.
I think you offer some great advice and wisdom in this fantastic hub. The three I use the most are: Bite your tongue, say something positive instead, offer a compliment regarding something else.
Voted up, up and away!!!
WELL MS SUNSHINE, YOU HAVE SAID IT ALL AGAIN,, SUCH WISE WORDS,, I BEED TO HEED THIS WARNING AT TIMES,, SOMETIMES I TOO PIT THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE, OR SHOULD SAY, OPEN MOUTH INSERT FOOT OR SOMETIMES EVEN BOTH FEET.. I LOVE THE BUMBLEBEE HOUSE IDEA.. SO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SAYINGS IS WHEN I ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT MAY IRRATATE SOMEONE, I SAY ZIPPING UP FLAME SUIT.. NOW INSTEAD OF THAT I WILL JUST, OPEN MOUTH AND PRETEND TO YAWN, THAT MAT HELP.. SO ONCE AGAIN TY FOR ROMINDING IS ALL TO BE KIND .. XOXOXO
Hi Dexter! Excellent advice from your mother, thank you for sharing it with us! :)
Hi ladybug, I speak from the heart and from experience...I'm honored you appreciate it. Thank you!
Great advice, I share a similar view. I vote this hub as useful.
Sunny! Sunny! Sunshine!!
I would not (never say never) intentionally hurt someone's feelings....(unless they screw with my kids!). I've been on the "hurt feelings" side.
Someone said it (Dexter?), but my MIL said it, with a twist...."don't overload your a** with your mouth" WISE!
I HAVE discovered ~ the older I get, the more obnoxious I am with my opinions, likes, and dislikes, without sarcasm or being UGLY.... God doesn't like ugly, and I don't want Him mad at ME!
Wise words, truthful words, and...I will be nice!
I used to tell my kids "there are 2 ways to say something. Right way and wrong way... Please chose the right/dignified way"
(man! I'm dying for some cheesecake!)
I voted up and "other things"
I think I will try the belching as a distraction technique the next time I am involved in an awkward conversation. :-)
Usually I am a fan of just changing the subject with something else happening at the same time. I am convinced that is why many difficult conversations occur at restaurants. There is so much going on, it is easy to jump from the awkward conversation right to: "Oh, look at what she got! That dessert looks delicious!" No one can resist talking about a delicious dessert!
Great hub and voted up!
"Open mouth, insert foot!" That's what I do...sometimes. Although I try not to, yet I'm only human. Love, Susieq
Thanks for the input, ideas and suggestions Susie, Jeannie, Barbara and Jean! They are always appreciated :)
Great hub full of wisdom. I find myself often having to "bite my tongue" especially around my partners ex when she drops her son off. She is always sarcastic and full of cheeky comments to me. It's difficult not to "bite back" but I will definitely be good and say nothing or be in another room! Thanks for the tips.
Great philosophy that saves friendships and stops fights. Yep, you got that right! ;o)
Great advice, and I always used to say to my chidren as they were growing up, if someone is being unkind or cruel to you, just walk away, don't stoop to their level and retaliate. A great, pratical hub. My votes to you Sunshine for your wisdom.
Great hub-- I enjoyed the chuckles. Is it bad that I usually only have to practice your advice around blood relatives? ;)
Voted up!
@reprieve ... I totally understand!!! :)
Thank you for your comments and sharing your wisdom!!
Sunshine,
I love your silliness along with the great advice. Well done! I, too often, have to bite my tongue :)
Sharyn
Love it...I too am opinionated...much to outspoken...but I wouldn't hurt a fly...so to speak...look forward to reading more...voted up & everything else...take care!
Sunshine,
Greetings from MAKUSR. I am so happy to read this. In Hindi we have a saying,
Speak truth,Speak pleasantly
Don't speak unpleasant truth
Thanks for sharing.
Lots of Love,
MAKUSR
Thank you Makusr! I appreciate your Hindu saying ... we could all learn from it :)
Haha! This might be a great one:) lol I do love this message and totally agree - I hate when people knock each other down. I like to see people help each other up instead!
Agree with you much Sunshine625, if we aren't able to say something nice, just bike our tongue and say nothing at all...thanks for having the great job done Sunshine625, appreciate it much...cheers!
Thank you for your comments. This is a perfect hub for today :)
so nice article i want to be as you
my fairst article
http://ehnaa.hubpages.com/hub/love-feeling
thanks
Thanks for sharing your "first" hub ehnaa.
I think this is very true, which is why alot of times you won't hear me talk about others in a way that's negative unless I expect the same. I just think it promotes bad energy to be negative. And even though it's hard, it works out in the long run. Great hub!
Loved it. Just what I needed first thing in the morning.
Laughing....belch? Nice words of wisdom. Right now across our nation there are Hubbers belching in public. No wonder you are my idol. Great job!
Great words spoken with wisdom , , ,
Great, you have now given billybuc a good excuse to go around belching all the time...*sigh* Just joking. This is a gret Hub and an ever greater idea. I try my hardest to practice the "nothing nice to say then shut up!" rule. Im not always successful but for those instances when I fail to follow the rule I always find an apology works wonders :)
I try to live by that, not always easy :)
Alecia ~ Kelley ~ tsmog ~ billybuc ~ Ardie ~ Uninvited Writer ... I appreciate your comments! We all try, yet there are times when you just can't help yourself. Practice makes perfect!:)
Another wise hub from you. I totally agree with you. We should not offend others and try to be tactful to an extent. I could not help smiling at the'giant bumble bee'. My parents taught me to be polite to many others and try not to be blunt or sound too open and rude. Your hub taught me more.
Thanks for sharing. Interesting,Funny and Useful. Vote up and socially shared.
I think that one of the keys to avoiding criticizing others is to stop thinking so critically. When I focus on positivity, and look for the good, I find that I don't have nearly as many negative things to say.
The other key is to recognize the right of the other person to live the way they want, just as you would want to live the way you want. Different is just different, it doesn't have to be better or worse.
Thank you ish and MT for teaching us all more then we might know. Your comments are appreciated.
SJmorningsun25 Level 5 Commenter 8 months ago
Nice one, Sunshine! Think how many wars could have been avoided in history if someone had been wise enough to keep his mouth shut. Voted up and useful!