The Squirrel Spat
67
Mr Squirrel's Spat with ????
As I sat and pondered on my back porch this morning with my adorable pets, I noticed a noise that I've never heard before. I ignored it. The pestering sound grew louder and now there were two tones to it. One was a shrieking sound and one was more subdued, yet intense. I thought it was probably two birds fighting over a worm. I ignored it. Then the sound was getting closer. You think by this time I would have been a bit worried since my neighborhood is very quiet at this time of the morning. That's when I heard a LOUDER shriek and my bunny Cupcake LEAPT into her cage and my dog Foxy JUMPED onto my lap.
OK, now it's time for Sunshine P.I. to investigate the noise and protect her pets who were at her mercy. I wasn't that concerned since our porch is screened in. I walked around the perimeter of the porch and noticed a squirrel who looked very irate. Oh, it must be a lovers spat, how cute is that...so I thought.
Shriek...Chitter...Shriek....Chitter....Shriek. Back and forth they went, bickering away at each other. One made a sound and then the other. The arguing got LOUDER and LOUDER and was beginning to irritate me. I could only see part of the squirrel since he was half on the screen and half on my roof. I used mental telepathy towards the other squirrel who I couldn't see and politely requested she give him the extra acorn or whatever else Mr. Squirrel was demanding. He obviously wasn't giving up, nor was she so I thought.
I don't quite follow the chittering language or else I possibly could have been more helpful towards them. I strongly believe in not interferring with relationships. I sure wasn't going to break protocol and start now.
Shriek...Chitter...Shriek....Chitter....Shriek. My dog had enough she wanted to go indoors. Cupcake was using her very large bunny ears to block out the annoying squirrel spat. It was then that Sunshine P.I. decided to act fast and act now. I walked over to the corner of the roof to spy and further investigate the lovers squirrel quarrel. It was at this moment that I couldn't believe what I was witnessing! To my SHOCK and SURPRISE I could only find ONE squirrel! I thought WTF!?!? I searched and searched and could not for the life of me find another squirrel! I watched in amazement as Mr. Squirrel shrieked, tilted his head to the side and chittered...this went on for a few more minutes.
OH MY, I have just witnessed my first EVER squirrel with a split personality!
Yes, the squirrel was arguing with himself! What a NUT!!! Hmmmm. I thought now would be a good time for Sunshine P.I. to call on Dr. Sunshine. Hopefully Dr. Sunshine can concoct a remedy for this obviously very confused, irritated squirrel. Dr. Sunshine is the one who's always called upon with aches and pains within the family. She didn't require her trusty stethoscope for this patient since Dr. Sunshine doesn't do roofs.
The shreiking and chittering at this time was getting more intense. Dr. Sunshine anaylzed the situation with the best of her knowledge. She probed, looked around and tried to decipher the conversation. Dr. Sunshine is accustomed to tending humans and her pets when needed, but not rodents. With every ounce of patience she had she tried to assist, but the squirrel was persistant on being annoying and offering no explaination on how Sunshine, Sunshine P.I. or Dr. Sunshine could help. The trio put their thinking caps on and wrestled with a few ideas but couldn't truly decide on what to do.
They all wanted to do the best thing possible for all involved. It was at this time that Sunshine turned on the garden hose and blasted the squirrel and his other personality off of the roof! He did provide quite a glare as he sprinted for dry land. Hopefully he will find the help he needs. Go figure, arguing with yourself? Who does that? I have no idea. Nor does Sunshine P.I. or Dr. Sunshine.
Disclaimer: To animal activists: Mr Squirrel is doing great, he was just spotted in the front yard hanging out with his gang. They were chittering quietly, most likely about the crazy woman with the garden hose. Well, it takes one to know one is all I have to say to him AND get some help!
This squirrel is very similiar but without the chittering....
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omfg I can't stop laughing . This is sooooooooooooooo funny. BRB need to pee now LOL
marellen, I stay away from them also! Squirrels are cute lil critters but not my type of pet.
lockgirl, you made me LOL ... BRB too!
A very funny story.....do not try the hose if you are ever walking around New York City and you see someone arguing with themselves....just let the person/squirrel work through the issues. Nice photos of your pets as well...voted humorous and interesting.
When I was child I used to always feed the squirrels peanuts from my hand. One day I didn't have any peanuts but wanted to see if I could get a squirrel to come over to me anyways. I pretended to have a peanut. The squirrel came over to me and when he saw no peanut he bit me. Didn't break the skin but still....That was the last time I ever tried to feed a squirrel from my hand.
Enjoyed your story.
Oh my I laughed through this whole hub! I love squirrels and so does my mom. We know of someone who is taking care of a baby who was knocked out of its nest during Hurricane Irene. This however is so hysterical, and love the pictures of your other animals. Always enjoy reading your stuff! :)
Cogerson...I wouldn't spray anyone with anything in NYC! We're a bit tamer here in Orlando! Just watch out for Sunshine :)
Just ask Susan...your story was so funny! They are feisty little fellows. It always amazes me how they run across the roads BUT never, ever get hit...that i've seen. I always root for them to win!
Heather...I'm glad you got a good laugh. Kudos to your friend for tending to the injured squirrel :)
Wow... what a nutjob!
OMG lockgirl! Thank you so much for sharing that video! I'll BRB you know where I'm going! LOL
This is a really cute hub. Here, in Maine, we have squirrels that chit-chat all the time. It's actually pretty funny sometimes.
I know exactly what that noisy little squirrel was doing! He was putting on his best "psycho" act because a little birdie told him that you're the lady who writes for Hubpages. He wanted his 15 minutes of fame....and looks like he got it! Funny tale, Sunshine....but are you saying you never argue with yourself? Guess I better get some help too! voted up
@Phoebe....I did hear the chit-chat out in the front yard when Mr Squirrel was with his croonies but not when he was alone. Thanks for stopping by!
@fpherj .... I bet it was the little birdie! Good catch!!! Sunshine, P.I. and Dr. bat heads often, Mr. Squirrel might have heard us once or twice :)
OMG! OMG! now I know how YOU spend your time! How you considered YOU are split-not HIM??
This was JUST what I needed today!! I prepared, I didn't need to BRB!
I live in Calif, in the country, we have as many squirrels as people. More PEOPLE are split tho!
They are SO much fun! We had several fall from the nest (at once) could NOT find anyone to care for them. Our efforts failed ~ now they went over to Rainbow Bridge, visiting their ancestors! poor babies..... :(
I voted EVERY way but useful....cuz P.I. Turpin already knew about "split"
Thank you.....for the perfect sunshiny day!!!
Oh Barbara, thank YOU for adding on to the humor! I'm glad you came prepared! lol
We all have some splitsville in us BUT I never, ever witnessed a nutty squirrel :))
Have you ever seen a squirrel nutty (removes a 't' remove the 'y' add an 's')!!!!! Just saying...
Funny one Barbara! Haha! Thank you for sharing! :)
OMG!!! That squirrel must have come from New York cause they are nuts here !! My sister has one that throws it's shells at them LOL
Did you really call your pets "adorable"? ;) I don't think the squirrel is the only one with the split personality Sunshine...or should I say Sunshine P.I....or Dr. Sunshine. ;)
I love this story! We also have squirrels. When we fill the bird feeder, they help themselves...to bird seed. My husband quit feeding the birds because the squirrels eat it all. We even hung the bird feeder from a foot long wire, hoping the squirrels wouldn't be able to get to it, but, low and behold, they hang upside down from the tree branch and reach as far as they can. Then they dump it all on the ground. They are very naughty, and now I don't get to enjoy my beautiful cardinals and morning doves. Oh well...it's all in a day. lol
Oh Susie, cardinals and morning doves are such beautiful birds...it's a shame you don't get to see them as often. Try the garden hose, it seems to work! Good luck!
The squirrels even steal from the hummingbird feeder ~ that even pisses me OFF!
What these squirrels have itty bitty tongues?! That'd be funny lookin' eh?!!
Nutty Squirrel,
Seems Normal To Me,
In This Nutty World...
Hilarious Dr. Linda.;)
Oh Sunshine, I am still laughing, brilliantly funny hub!
Just loved it to bits:-)
That was one crazy squirrel!!!
So the squirrels do it too! My daughter said too me the other day; Mum, you are a bit weird because now you are talking to yourself! No, I am not, I am only talking to the cat! Are you sure the squirrel wasn't talking to a cat or something.....
Thanks for this fun read, I am glad you sat there that morning:)))
Tina
Thank you for the funny comments! It truly enhances the humor to this nutty squirrel hub! :)
I cannot resist a hub about a squirrel. Crazy little guys, i see them fighting birds all the time. They love the pecan trees in my neighborhood, and their favorite hobby is driving dogs crazy. Our squirrels appear to be more brown than the photos and video.
Hi Leroy! Texan squirrels sound about as nutty as Floridian ones! Thanks for sharing!
hahaha!! loved this hub, hilarious! i love squirrels though!! they are really cute i had two of them and one was quite noisy!! both were brought in injured so couldnt leave them outside once they grew up and regained health!! i can imagine the squirrel giving the lady with a hose a look!! :)
carrie
JUST remembered something!!!! In Oklahoma, my husband was standing under a tree when momma chipmunk ran down tree, across the street....car was coming ---
Right after that, a baby fell from his nest...he brought him home! She was SOOOOO much fun! We had to teach her the how-to-climb-a-tree! Two legged people, teaching a 4 legged baby ~ what a sight!!
We had her for 3 yrs, she decided she needed a 4 legged mate....off she went! What a joy!
(We had a baby racoon too)
Wild baby are lots of fun ~ and don't talk back with "that attitude!"
Thank you for sharing Barbara! That's a sweet story!!! One of our neighbors has about 20 raccoons in their backyard, they look at Foxy when we walk by AND they aren't fenced in...freaks me out sometimes!
Hi Carrie! Thank you for sharing your story also! Who would have thought squirrels could have so many nutty tales to tell! :)
Hilarious, Sunshine625. I can't believe it was a single squirrel. I am so used to seeing pairs of them playfully chasing and chattering at each other. Thanks for sharing this squirrely experience. Voted up and funny.
Hahaha... Cute story!
Well, maybe the little guy had a bellyache from eating too many rich treats..and was alternately complaining and telling himself not to do that again. LOL
We have squirrels around here, usually in pairs, sometimes, a spat occurs when a third arrives...but one day, there was a third just kind of hanging on the fringes, like he wanted to be with the "in" pair sooooo bad...but not venturing near enough to get scolded...I felt sorry for him.
We have the "squirrel highway." They run along the power lines, and sometimes 2 meet, going opposite ways, Uh-oh--now what? They have it down to a science: one swings down underneath, hanging upside-down while the other runs over the top, and when that one has passed, the one who dropped under pops back up and continues on his way! Hilarious!
Sunshine! YOU have a great sense of humor. Not only is this a delightful story, but it is so funny. Thanks for starting my day with laughter and a smile! Voted up, up and away!
Weren't we just mentioning "insanity?" Just sayin . . . (fun read)!
Wonderful story -- made my morning! Thanks for sharing. I wonder what was going on with your squirrelly squirrel.
Great story, and squirrels can be maddening sometimes. I love your pets, want some more pets so bad but my cat is nearly 17 and wants no friends!
It is so funny that I came across this hub today! Yesterday my husband and I were just enjoying the neighborhood when I heard a similar sound just outside our porch from the big oak we have there. Grrr, that squirrel was having a tirade! It really does get SO annoying. Too funny, thanks for sharing! Foxy sure is cute by the way...
Thank you all for your comments, laughs, votes and sharing!
Husky - DzyMsLizzy - Dexter - Sharyn - Maralexa - Jackie - gryphin .... I appreciate your humor :))
Having always been a people and animal watcher, squirrels are amazing. Enjoyed this tremendously.
lol I love this one. I laughed so hard reading this. Sunshine you ROCK
Hi Cousin Fudd! I'm glad you smiled! :)
HI lockgirl .... So happy to see you!!! Stop by more often, always a pleasure :)))
At the moment I am stuck in bed with an injured foot so I will try to stop in more
Sorry about your foot :( Hook us up with a new hub by lockgirl! :)
Hi, I loved your investigation! lol this really made me laugh, especially when you said your dog had enough of the noise and headed indoors! ha ha and I love your photos of your rabbit and dog, how sweet! have you ever heard a squirrel bark? they make the most horrible noise when they are scared or trying to warn another squirrel, it sounds just like a dog with a bone in its mouth! lol
Hi Nell! No I never heard a squirrel bark, at least I don't think I have. We have so many squirrels by our home but I haven't heard a spat in awhile:) Thank you for stopping by!
The nutty squirrel was back tonight, he was IRATE and YELLING at someone or something. Hormones were raging! He then jumped across my screen enclosure and onto a nearby tree. Until the next time.
One thing that comes to mind, since it is a rodent, are you sure it is not rabid. Otherwise, I guess you could say that he was indeed crazy!
I'm safe Cindy. Not even a rapid squirrel could bother Sunshine! :)
Hehehe...I started cracking up right as soon as I arrived at this hub. Very cute and I love your animals. Hehehe. Voted up and funny.
A total riot. You are so funny. Would love to know what that squirrel was thinking while running away from your hose. Well at least he did not get revenge b eating a hole in the roof or something like that.He might have been thinking about it but I bet those other squirrels talked him out of it.
Hahah I love the picture where he's not talking to you. I wouldn't talk to you either if you sprayed me with the hose when I was in the middle of a heated argument! Seriously, wow. Crazy squirrel was throwing a temper tantrum :) I would've sprayed him too. You didnt do anything wrong - there are so many worse things some people would've tried to get the noisy pest away. Very funny Hub!
Linda, Great hub. Lots of humor. I remember once watch two squirrels fighting over an acorn in a tree. they were chittering and screeching and then one of them pushed the other squirrel out of the tree and it broke it's neck and died.
Linda I am laughing so hard.. I needed a good laugh.. thank you I love the squirrel with a split personality.. the best... if my muffin would meet her she would go stark raving mad.. LOL
Loved it
Voted way up my friend
Debbie
Linda this is so good I am sharing with my friend on Facebook..
Debbie
Thank you all for your comments!!! I'm glad you enjoyed my nutty squirrel story, he visits often:)
Wow this is the cutest story. I guess with their twitchy tails they have a twitchy mind & personality to. Ha ha!!!
Perhaps he was trying to get your attention so he could get a photo of you and write about you in his hub. Voting this Up and Funny.
Linda, I've linked your hub with mine! http://pdxkaraokeguy.hubpages.com/_3gvrkbouobv74/h
Sunshine,
That was so Darling--I just love all my wild animals, and I feed my wild squirrels peanuts, sunflower seeds and corn.
They are so fat---some may need to go to Squirrel Watchers.
When I hear my squirrels making a noise I check to see where KeeKee is--he likes to sleep at the bottom of their big oak trees--I think he likes noise.
Your little doggie and bunny rabbit are so cute---I know you enjoy them.
Bobbi
I loved how you incorporated pictures of your pets to tell the story...love it!
Hahahaha... cute cute cute! We have squirrels all over the mountain here. One day, I thought I was talking to a squirrel by imitating his chatter.. the next thing I know, he had 10 additional friends all chattering away at me... I'm not quite sure what I was saying..but I had the eery feeling that one of them was gonna call me "mamma"..LOL Voted up and shared! :)
marellen Level 6 Commenter 8 months ago
Funny.....I had a squirrel run over to me like he was a pet. It really scared me because I thought he/she should be afraid of me but I was the one who ran for safety. How funny these little creatures can be. This would make a fun childrens story...